sometimes it all gets away from you. at one point its firmly in your grasp, the entire field open and blooming with life. you experince an extraordinary moment, magic. inspiration strikes and stars align, your life makes sense and the future seems like it will bring good things and you'll be able to tolerate the bad things. then you have a monday. and you're reminded all over again why everyone who meets you says you're cynical and unexcitable. because overwhelmingly you are cynical, but only till the next wave of optimism kicks in. but see this monday beats you down a little and you realize that the wave of crap is not finished dousing you.

it must end at some point. i think. i mean, yeah, right, it'll end. it totally will.