and I came back with hope. tonight as i drove home from merrillville i watched the sun turn into violent shards of red-purple and deep orange as it went to bed in the west somewhere. i darted my eyes from the road to the sunset, road, sunset, and smiled. and hoped. i felt filled with a hope, a tiny inkling of something better to come, just around the horizon. the duldrums of daily life seem to slowly drain from me the hope i carry, especially lately. no wonder suicide rates go up in winter, people get depressed. but for now I have hope and i glimpse even the smallest part of a life filled with satisfaction.

a movie played in my head when the colors in the sky quit stealing my attention. in this short film a life unfolded filled with stress and unpleasantness. a job too demanding and unfulfilling. rising debts. then it all went away and was replaced by the images of a happy couple lounging about, then having flour fights in the kitchen, then making love on the table. she puts lotion on as they get ready for bed, talking lightly about things. he waits in bed already, both with pajamas on, his job to ensure the alarm clock is set for work tomorrow.

the movie faded away when an SUV slammed on its breaks ahead of me.