I've become interested in all things brain-related over the past two years and sought books, websites, articles, and TV shows on the subject. Lately, with my knee making me sit, ice, and elevate for long periods, I've been watching way too much TV and combined it with some Internet research. Below are my findings about the brain and love and sex and parenting.

Love is a chemical change in the brain lasting about six months, so says research. Our brains increase dopamine secretion when we're in love, leading to excitement and happiness. Then something weird happens and surprised me. Men produce testosterone, and that hormone makes them go out in search of a mate. When a mate is found, though, testosterone levels drop because the man does not need to go out and find anyone else. We're programmed to stay and create a family. If that's so, could people who cheat have an "altered" set of hormones?

During sex a man's brain chemistry changes, relaxing his entire body, lowering blood pressure and stress, so that climax is possible. Once reached, a man's body easily falls into sleep because his brain has chemically prepared him for it. On an odd note, masturbation does not provide the same set of biochemical changes, at least not to the same degree. Can you imagine how researchers conducted that study? And who funded it?

After a child is born, his or her parents undergo another biochemical change. As they bond with, nurture, and recognize the child as their own, parents' brains produce proteins, steroids, and chemicals causing various reactions, such as breast feeding, love, protection, problem solving (in men), etc. This makes sense. Evolutionarily our brains developed to find a mate and then reproduce and once achieved, the brain shifts to maintain, grow, and protect the family. If a couple have a child, and a healthy sex life, where does cheating come in?

Researchers would have us believe (as I interpret it) that we are programmed by evolution and our behavior is reasonably explained (some of it) by looking at the neurological changes we exhibit.

And that leads me to my true area of interest right now: parents' connection with their disabled children. I continue to be amazed at the sacrifices parents make for disabled children, particularly severely disabled ones. From where does that come?

In various cultures, disabled children have been abandoned, sent away, devalued, even killed. People recoil at the sight of the abnormal. Could it be that parents' brains are wired not to bond with their child if he or she is disabled? That disproves my previously-stated fascination with those parents who do so much for their special needs children. People with kids might view this questions as unconscionable and ridiculous and so it might be. When I consider natural selection, however, could this be buried in our genetic code? Evolved survival skills? Gah, that's horrible to even consider. I feel guilty for even writing it.

I suppose I'm asking if emotional bonds are mere chemical changes that can be observed, labeled, understood, and predicted. If that's all romantic love is, relationships aren't meant to last on their own merits (without kids), marriage is something of a faulty institution. Hmm.

Maybe I need to go out skydiving or something instead of all this heavy thinking.