i should be getting work done but i find myself coming back to this spot. perhaps i'll develop a compulsion to explore my thoughts and distrube them among various words and sentences here. perhaps. my deepes, darkest secrets. i wonder if i should let people read this, dan and kristy know the site name. do i give it to gina or alicia or other people? i dunno. i'm not so sure its a good idea to bare my soul out to all like that. i wanted to give michelle the address but i wonder how much i'll devote my words to student teaching issues or my own personal issues.

listening to a mix of the things on my hard drive and the song 'chelsea' came on, by counting crows. this line i wrote down:
"everyone needs to hurt somebody sometime
the things i do to people i love shouldn't be allowed"
it dawned on me whether i had ever hurt the people i loved or treated them badly, i mean, lately, and was so into myself that i didn't even notice. i hope not. its one thing to discover you dislike your life and yourself; its easy to just dwell on the fact that you are miserable and that you don't have many options of changing things. you keep dwelling on that so much that you forget to dig yourself out of the rut you are in. did that make any sense? any why would i want to give anyone this site address? why would anyone want to crall inside my head and read this babble? jeez. i'm deluded.

at least i have the simpsons to keep me smiling.

Homer: Guess I forgot to put the foglights in. (at least dan knows the reference and why its funny).