Every day I go to work and try to help someone learn something new. In my little way, every day I try to change the world. Lately I've felt judged every day, eyes and ears tuned to my words and movements, my clothes, my tone of voice, and invisible scales tip this way or that. Change is supposed to be good, supposed to help us grow and not become victims of comfort; instead I feel used and thrown aside, and a little gutted.

I had a better day today, the best of the week so far, and that gives me hope. More change is on the horizon, though. I start a second job on Monday, and the expectations have risen around me like mountains. More people have complimented my abilities in the past few months than in the past four years combined, and ironically, I feel less comfortable and less sure of my talents. How adaptable should one's style of work be? Does one mold oneself to the system or find a way to mold both together? I have learned that I dislike having to prove myself repeatedly.