I just finished the novel, Pay It Forward, the book that spawned the Kevin Spacey film of the same name. While a decent film, it went for the easy pull at the heartstrings and dabbled too much in the sappiness area. The book proved much better. The ending, full of profound sadness, despair, and hope, actually made me feel for the characters even though I knew the ending and the characters were not all that likeable. For some reason the author, whose name escapes me at the moment, seemed to want to keep the characters always at arm's length from the reader, never letting you truly identify with them enough to have real pathos for them. I liked the darker elements in the story, though I puzzle at the inclusion of a cross-dressing homosexual teenager who routinely gets beaten and the long piece of moral propaganda disguised as a eulogy at the end. There are obvious martyr overtones to this book and it isn't a stretch to compare Trevor, the main character, to Jesus Christ.

In essence, the book begs the questions can one person still change the world? and how much faith do we still have in each other? cynicism and optimism have long waged a war with me and my cynicism and teaching experience pushes me to the cynicism side. I'm not sure one person can change the world any more; the world is simply too big and busy to be changed. The ego of man makes him think that his role in the universe is sacred and utterly important, though in truth any one of us can be removed from existence and the remaining billions don't blink an eye. G.W. may be the leader of the most powerful nation, and he may have done considerable harm to scores of people and places, but take him away and the world continues on in its stead as ever. We are attracted to the dark and macabre, so consequently the positive gets little coverage. Good deeds for no selfish reasons, the heart of Trevor's idea, would fail to engage the majority of people, or even a small minority. Try watching the news and finding a single positive story. You may find one a week in the newspaper and they call it a fluff piece anyway. People clutter their lives so much that they can't find their way to including selfless thoughts. In my classes we end up talking about human nature often and I push the students to attempt to define the characteristics of human nature versus the effects of one's environment. Is kindness a basic human component? I would argue strongly that no, it is not, but rather it is entirely learned, and a person develops a disposition for kindness. We have gotten away from the sense of community, of neighbors. After 9/11 people felt these surges of patriotism and brotherhood, but have those feelings been sustained? Look at the harsh tactics used by Kerry and Bush for a possible answer.

I became a teacher largely because I felt that I could help young people realize their potential to change how we live, why we live, and what we live for, by first changing it within themselves in my classroom. Quickly this idealism faded a few years ago, though I see shreds of altruism and a desire to explore what could be in some of my students. I can only hope they don't lose faith as Trevor did in the beginning of the book, and as part of me has; I can only hope that the message of the book rings true and moves even the most stubborn feet forward.

The best thing about teaching is the change you can see in a student; the worst can be the uncertainty that any change has occurred.