Everyone wants to know that they matter; everyone needs to feel that they matter; everyone wants to hear that they matter. Why do we need love so much? Where does the need to be needed come from?

It has been a week of huge emotion.

I remember the first time I went out to my friend's house by myself, newly laminated license in hand. Freedom seeped into every part of me and I immediately wanted to get out of the house. I never considered the parents I drove away from, watching television and trusting that I wouldn't do anything stupid, hoping that I was careful and drove with utmost caution. When we dropped my brother off at college and drove home, I never thought about my mom's tears and how empty the house must have felt to her. I remember my parents dropping me off at college and hugging my mom and feeling this mixture of fear, sadness, longing, and anxiety turn into tears as she started crying and the three of them left. It never occurred to me to consider how hard that drive back home must have been for her and my father, the worry she carried, the desire to know about my life and the pain of knowing she really couldn't know each day any more, that she had to be content with the weekly phone calls. Maybe by then it wasn't that bad for her at all, maybe I'm just sappy.

I think I understand a very small amount of what it means to be a parent. I think I understand the connection between parents and children a bit better now. I've always said that I have no interest in having kids, and that general feeling hasn't changed, though the joy must be incredible at times, equal to the torment.