i didn't have a valentine this year. i didn't have one last year. i suppose it was jen, we did exchange gifts. i didn't have one in 2000. i didn't buy anything for anyone this year. no one bought anything for me this year. i went out to eat with two of my single friends, giles and jeff. actually they are my only single male friends around here. no one sent me anything this year. well, jen sent me happy vday greetings. its amazing to me that i didn't even give today much thought. i resisted all the hallmark and teddy bear temptations. i never even looked at anything red or pink and didn't have to go shopping for flowers anywhere or make any dinner reservation.

somehow its odd that we celebrate a massacre with a day of romantic love happiness, but in a way that's fitting. what with the whole killing with kindness, love not hate vibe. i want to hear long, slow, simply jazz, the kind with drawn out notes on the trumpet and nothing else, i'm in a "Kind of Blue" mood by Miles Davis. Somehow Thelonius has too much energy for me tonight.

i have to sub for middle school health class tomorrow all day. should be interesting. most likely worksheets or videos or something. i'll have to lay the law down early with push ups. another stolen idea from dan.

i've been thinking about caution lately. a quandry: is it possible to feel totally pulsing with life and be cautious at the same time? i shall comment more on this tomorrow perhaps. now it is off to bed for an early morning awakening.

if you have the means, listen to "Kind of Blue" on a cold winter night in a darkened room. feel the mood miles' horn sends out through your speakers. he takes you places, he gives you emotion to play with.