today's topic is one near and dear to my heart: shoes on the street.


here's the deal. what the hell is with random shoes appearing on the shoulders of american roads? not pairs of shoes, single shoes, as in one shoe. this problem is not limited to any state or highway or county road. all over america people are depositing one shoe at a time out their car windows or as they are walking, always placing them carefully on the shoulder/outside of the road. i know you know what i am talking about. i've done a good bit of traveling on roadways in this country and remain flabergasted at the shoes. why always one? why are they never paired? who the hell put them there? better yet, who the tell takes them from their concrete resting place? this i bordering on an epidemic. if you know someone who casts a shoe onto the road, stop them any way you can, and get them help. what happens to the other shoe? what the hell? where does that shoe go? imagine how lonely it feels, its partner in life and death alone on some roadway, open to all kinds of weather and wind, to humans and animals, to street sweepers? do these people keep the other shoe? seriously? i wouldn't put it past them since they've already chucked one on I-80 near the Dubuque exit. are two people having a fight in the car and to get back at one, the other person tosses their shoe out the window? is that it? i've thought and thought and i can't come up with ANY reasonable answer. has anyone else ever wondered this? i should write a story on this, or tell the folks at The Onion to write one. sherlock holmes couldn't solve this one. nor could jack reed, master detective that he is. for those unfamiliar with jack reed, check out the diane masters story. gruesome murder-for-hire thing that happened in my hometime.

and why do i keep refering to readers of this website when there aren't more than like, 2? i think i like to pretend i have an audience the same as when i write a story from the narrator's perspective. blame it on "our town."

badasses of the day: wil wheaton, currently the funniest stuff i read, and anyone who does the skeleton. serious props, yo.