most people yearn for a successful romantic relationship. most of us are looking for true love, that soulmate, that one person that we were meant to spend a lifetime with. i've had the opportunity to be the person that others talk to about their relationship many, many times. that does not qualify me for anything. however, it does mean that I have had significant third-hand experience with the problems that everyone faces with their significant others. twofriends recently ended long-term relationships and a third friend is have serious frustrations. each of these people had similar issues confronting them. namely, the other person was not doing enough of the little things to make them feel loved and appreciated. the friends who talked to me told me that they were not being treated how they thought their partner should treat them. a question evolved from me to each person: can you sacrifice those little things that you feel should be there, accept their absence, and still continue to be happy and make the other person happy?

every intelligent person knows that relationships are about compromise. if a person is only able to give so much to their partner then the partner either has to accept that or find someone who will give them the things they are looking for. i'm amazed that i keep seeing this in different people's relationships, but perhaps i shouldn't be. i think everyone has had a relationship, be it a friendship or romantic one, where one person did most of the work, made most of the calls, and kept in touch. one-sided relationships affect us all and they hurt us when its with someone we love. the problem is that one has to end up making a choice between continuing to be the only one doing the work and accepting that or stopping all the effort one puts forth. i have never liked the idea of quantifying something as intangible as "love," however what do you do when you feel that you love someone more than they love you? what do you do when the other person doesn't stay in touch? when they don't call, email, or write? when they forget important things to you, don't tell you about important things to them, and stop even asking about you? what do you do when you end up feeling taken for granted?

first you talk to the person, right? and if nothing changes? i've written before how hard it is to cut someone out of your life, especially someone you still care so much about. love is this rare thing, right? i say that a lot. hang on to it when you find it, make the most of it, etc etc. sadly, sometimes love is not enough in any relationship. yes, your family can't change that they are related to you. friends come and go, but family is family. the thing is, family members need to work at loving each other too. just because you share a last name or the same blood doesn't mean you are bonded for life. yes, it is not often that two people meet and discover they want to share their lives together. with 6 billion people around, its rare two people meet and like each other at all. that point should not push a person into settling for something less than they want from a relationship nor should it serve as an excuse to accept poor behavior in a relationship. their is no ideal relationship out there, so ditch the knight in shinning armour idea right now. the thing is, girls can still find someone to make them feel like a princess and guys can still find girls to be a prince for. if you've been with someone for awhile and have committed the "i love you's" and you aren't feeling like a prince or a princess, give it some thought because you may be settling. and is that what you really want?

hey, since when did this become an advice column?