i felt like total shit today. i was all dizzy and weak every time I got up. strange. so i blew another day off, read a lot, and basically got nothing accomplished. oh, i managed to apply for about 3 more jobs, but something tells me i won't be happy with any of them. i just drank quite a bit of nyquil, rather like a shot of it really, and as soon as it takes affect i'm off to sleep. hopefully i won't be waking up at 4 am AGAIN in a mad coughing frenzy.

i could completely fall for some quaint british girl. something unseemingly sexy about an english accent. alicia once told me that this guy she dated in england, that he could read the phone book to her and she'd melt. i get that. if a girl with an english accent, and nearly an australian one too, talks to me i'm entranced. something dynamic about it. a big reason why i liked "Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" so much was because it was british.

today I was thinking about LIFE. actually more correctly I was thinking about what i wanted to write here about LIFE. some things to do tomorrow, like study for my exam, go to the police station, drop off those two apps, pay my bills, balance my checkbook, go to the bloody doctor.

"The world's a rollercoaster
And I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care
While my hands are
Busy in the air
Saying

I, wish you were here
I, wish you were
I, wish you were here
I, wish you were here
I, wish you were
Here
Wish you were here"

Let us for a moment contemplate the meaning of these lyrics from the song by Incubus. I'm not sure if I like it yet or if I think its dumb. He starts off with a metaphor, a dangerous tool in the hands of a musician. What is a roller coaster like? It zig and zags, goes up and down, backwards, sometimes its slow most times its too fast, it spiralls out of control and tosses your body around, it thrills and terrifies and excites and torments and bores at the same time. How is a rollercoaster like the world then? Does the world do those things to you? So i think he's saying that in the narrator's case, the world is tossing him around, and its like he's not strapped in, making the revolutions and loops and swirls and dives even worse, even more effective, even more dangerous. with nothing strapping him in he's got nothing to hold onto, so if the rollercoaster, ney world, were to spin too fast around a corner with him, he could be strewn out into the unknown. and what happens when you get tossed off a rollercoaster? you tumble and tumble with no net beneath you, no harness around you. and in this moment his hands, which aren't strapped in remember, are up in the air saying something? first off, are they saying sign language? beyond that, is there any other way for your hands to convey the message "I wish you were here"? why would his hands say that? what is the significance of that? why not his mouth? he only alludes to his body in the stanza, and when he does its only in reference to how it is banged around or how securely attatched to something it is. nothing concrete is mentioned in terms of the body and nothing about his face or head or mouth. so why are his hands saying this thing, and how are they saying this thing? was "hands" chosen because it conveniently fit the rhyme scheme and/or the meter for that line? these are things that we simply must have answers to people! and wait just a minute. "maybe i should hold with care" while his body is not strapped in to the rollercoaster that is the world, and he suggests to himself that he should hold on but he has to somehow do this while signaling that line with his hands? huh? how is that possible? if he's holding on with care how can his hands be signaling in the air? what else is he holding on with? certainly he can't hold on with his lower body because in most rollercoasters your legs are in a position where they are tucked under something of left dangling. either way, they aren't of much use once the ride starts other than to get in the way at inopportune moments (sort of like your brain). that means the only thing he could reasonably hold on with would be his arms and hands, which he also needs to use to say various statements of desire in the air. quite the predicament. my conclusion: its a nice effort at being creative and put something in a different way, sort of like the song "drops of jupiter" by train, but it fails to be coherent or correct in any literary way. appropriately, it should get gobs and gobs of air play, if it hasn't already been pushed aside for the new creed song.

"And in this moment
I am happy, happy"

now that I can live with.